Reality Check!

I sometimes spend my nights sitting here on the internet looking at what other people blog about. I love entering into other people's worlds, seeing things from different perspectives, and living vicariously through other people's experiences. I love searching random blogs, some very weird (ie. Kansas Knitting Klub), some really annoying (ie. endless runs of dodgy sites selling dodgy products and gambling tips), and some just very very boring. But then every now and then I stumble across a blog site which really really affects me.

Tonight I found one that gave me a reality check - that feeling I would expect to receive if I had a baseball bat to my skull. I come across endless blog after blog, where people complain about their lot, wishing that things were different, and drowning in their own misery... I sympathise with them, I do. I am one of the most sympathetic people to mental illnesses and that is no secret. But everyone should at least take a few moments to read the following entry I found on a blog tonight and then say to yourself "Is life really that bad?"

"June 15th started out like any other day. I did the same things I always do, that many other people do. Alarm clock, shower, brush teeth – all those things associated with getting the day started. On the outside, it could have been any ordinary day. However, it wasn’t like any day before it.A week prior, I was lying in bed, unable to sleep because I was really cold, which in June is a little bizarre. After putting four blankets on top of me, I was still pretty cold. The next morning, I took a shower. Afterwards, I began to sweat profusely. I put on one shirt and sweat right through it. I tried another shirt, with the same result. I thought at the time, the guy who does my laundry isn’t going to be happy about this. Needless to say, I thought it best to see the doctor. After explaining my symptoms, he started asking me all sorts of questions. We were both a little uncertain, so we took a throat culture and some blood samples. Better safe that sorry. In a week, maybe I’d figure out what the heck was up. Maybe I’d find out that I really WAS an ice queen.A week later – June 15th – I found myself back at the doctor’s office to receive the news. I thought it funny that I was getting the results back after all my symptoms had come and gone. No more chills. No more sweats. Sure, my stomach was back and forth, but I was pretty nervous about what was wrong, so maybe that could explain it.In the moments that shape us from one form to the next, we’re seldom ready. We as humans have the unique gift of trying to make sense of how we’d deal with various situations as if that will really make much of a difference. No amount of preparation can change the outcome; I can assure you of that.

“The tests confirm that you’re HIV positive.”

The doctor continued to speak, but all that I could hear was the indecipherable wah-wah-wah of the adults from the Charlie Brown cartoons. There were instantly a million thoughts in my head – where would it anchor first? So many things touched upon in a fast glimpse, like the rest of my life flashing before my eyes. Breaking the news to my mom. Confronting the person who gave this to me. How this would affect my friendships. Pending whispers behind my back in the near distance. What it would do to any potential romance from here on out. How long it would take before I get sick. Lying in a hospital bed, the remainder of my friends surrounding me, trying to be strong and falling apart on the inside. Equal parts rational and irrational, knowing which ones are which, but unable to process it effectively."

http://mentalhopskotch.blogspot.com/

Now, is that not enough of a Reality Check for you?