Mixed Feelings

This week has been a week of mixed feelings about a lot of things. I guess it is a concoction of nerves, sadness, excitement, and fear. I look at things differently now that I only have two and a half months left here in Sydney.

I pick up Tigger, my extremely overweight and fluffy cat, and I realise that it may be quite a while before I get to hug him again. And seeing he is very old, I may not get home in time to hug him again.

Yesterday, I put a "for sale" sign on my beautiful red little car. It has been my prized possession for five years. I have deliberately tried to ensure that it hasnt clocked up a lot of mileage, in anticipation of one day selling it in order to go away debt free. Now that the time has come to sell it, I feel that tiny bit of sadness, knowing that it will soon (hopefully!) be driving off to be someone else's car... with someone else's personalised number plates on it.

Lastly, I hold Charlotte in my arms and I look at her and wonder just how I am going to be able to walk away from her in only two months time. I am in too deep with her, my gorgeous niece, and I find it hard to let her go each day, let alone come March when I have to let her go for possibly years.

But then I have my map of the world, where I have placed little coloured dots on where I have already been in the world. Then I look at all of the places where I want coloured dots to be and realise that I have to go there now or I never will get there... never is there a better time for me to be going and doing what I am doing....

"I'm torn between what was and what could be." --Unknown