Money Is Burning A Hole In My Pocket, Dear Liza
Ugh. I hate having money - enough to live on, but not enough to actually do anything with. I want to go and do trips to Paris, Venice, Rome, Dublin, but I cant. I must recoup the money that I stripped myself of over the last couple of months. Pay parents back. Pay rent. Buy food. Necessities. Yuck.
Someone back home emailed me and told me of their desire to come across, which is currently being stopped by a "fear of failure". To who ever wants to give up their life at home, in order to see the world, the fear is only natural. I recall walking through the Customs area, crying my eyes out, and cursing myself about why I had made such a stupid decision. When I was in London that very first day, as the rain poured down and I walked from agency to agency, I again cursed myself at giving up my fabulous, secure job in order to go in search of something that still remains ill-defined. Then all of a sudden, life began to take care of itself.
I remember texting my sister the day before I jumped on a train to Edinburgh. I recall asking her to make the choice for me - should I go to London, go and stay with friends and grab an easy Council job, or leave for Edinburgh which was more or less destination unknown, without knowing anyone in the entire city, without having even tested the Scottish job market. Annie told me in no more words than this - "What is it that you want to do?".
I wanted to go to Scotland.
I was being prevented from going to Scotland because of fear of failure and no security.
And it was amazing how, the minute I stepped onto the platform in Edinburgh, rain pouring down, wind howling, that I knew in my heart that I had made the right decision.
That hasnt changed.
I miss my family.
But as I said before, happiness and homesickness arent necessarily mutually exclusive.
To the person that wants to go and do what i have done - Do it. Do it. Do it. You wont regret it. As long as it is something that you really want to do, you will never need to justify it to anyone - you will know it was the right thing to do and if people around you care about you (like the people around me), they'll know its the best thing for you too.
Happy 2nd June, ya'll!
Someone back home emailed me and told me of their desire to come across, which is currently being stopped by a "fear of failure". To who ever wants to give up their life at home, in order to see the world, the fear is only natural. I recall walking through the Customs area, crying my eyes out, and cursing myself about why I had made such a stupid decision. When I was in London that very first day, as the rain poured down and I walked from agency to agency, I again cursed myself at giving up my fabulous, secure job in order to go in search of something that still remains ill-defined. Then all of a sudden, life began to take care of itself.
I remember texting my sister the day before I jumped on a train to Edinburgh. I recall asking her to make the choice for me - should I go to London, go and stay with friends and grab an easy Council job, or leave for Edinburgh which was more or less destination unknown, without knowing anyone in the entire city, without having even tested the Scottish job market. Annie told me in no more words than this - "What is it that you want to do?".
I wanted to go to Scotland.
I was being prevented from going to Scotland because of fear of failure and no security.
And it was amazing how, the minute I stepped onto the platform in Edinburgh, rain pouring down, wind howling, that I knew in my heart that I had made the right decision.
That hasnt changed.
I miss my family.
But as I said before, happiness and homesickness arent necessarily mutually exclusive.
To the person that wants to go and do what i have done - Do it. Do it. Do it. You wont regret it. As long as it is something that you really want to do, you will never need to justify it to anyone - you will know it was the right thing to do and if people around you care about you (like the people around me), they'll know its the best thing for you too.
Happy 2nd June, ya'll!
posted by KateOnTheGo at
8:13 AM
5 Comments:
Furthermore, I would say to that person that life's about getting your feet wet now and then and LIVING! If it doesn't work out, you just come home, all the better for the experience!
Ahhh ... truer words were never spoken. Bravo! Try to simply turn the fear into a mobilizer instead of a roadblock!
The only way to overcome your fear is by tackling it head on...
By the way, Kate, I re-joined my gym again too and have been getting exercise three times a week for three weeks running. Any bets on how long it lasts?
Kate you're right...you convinced me I'd be alright and I am! Definitely DO IT DO IT DO IT! It's great, I love travelling!
Oh I agree. It can be hard to step out of your comfort zone but it's so worth it.
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