Random Outburst of Negativity
I usually keep my whinges and complaints quiet on this blog. I figure there is enough negativity in the world and on the internet that I dont need to contribute.
However, tonight, if I dont find some kind of forum just to.... write... then I'll probably implode. Or atleast stew over everything and not get any sleep.
The issue is that I am tired. Sick and tired. Literally. As in, a couple of days ago, I had a tummy bug. Tonight, I feel a cold coming on. Last week I was in tears because of the pressure I've been carrying around and not releasing. Its 9pm and I am only just sitting down to dinner. Soon, I will crawl into bed and its back to square one tomorrow.
The problem is that even I am starting to get tired of hearing myself complain. Once upon a time, I'd get asked how I am going, and I'd smile and say "yeh, I'm doing okay" or, "super, I'm doing just fine". Thats because I dislike people who complain and complain and complain. I always try to be pretty chirpy around people because I figure people deserve to be nice to each other and I dont ever want to cause people any harm.
However, my "yeh, I'm doing okay's" have turned into responses of "you know what? I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm really under pressure right now. Things arent so great."
I'm getting sick of complaining, and I am trying to deal with the fact that everyone around me is also struggling. It is true that my co-workers are under just as much pressure. They are tired too. They are over it as much as I am. And when there is just as many over-worked, frustrated people around you, who is left to listen to you about how tough things are for you personally?
There is the added issue of what I do for a living - in law, your job is to take stressful situations away from people and to deal with them on their behalf. Your job is to resolve conflict. People expect lawyers to be able to deal with the garbage because its just what we "do". That is true to some extent, and while we can usually tough things out, there's a point where it gets us down. Right now, I'm fed up with just how nasty people can be, how people treat other people, the power struggles, the politics, the lies and all of the other habits that nasty people have.
I'm just sick. Sick and tired right now. But how is my sickness and tiredness any different to the next over-worked person and the next?
However, tonight, if I dont find some kind of forum just to.... write... then I'll probably implode. Or atleast stew over everything and not get any sleep.
The issue is that I am tired. Sick and tired. Literally. As in, a couple of days ago, I had a tummy bug. Tonight, I feel a cold coming on. Last week I was in tears because of the pressure I've been carrying around and not releasing. Its 9pm and I am only just sitting down to dinner. Soon, I will crawl into bed and its back to square one tomorrow.
The problem is that even I am starting to get tired of hearing myself complain. Once upon a time, I'd get asked how I am going, and I'd smile and say "yeh, I'm doing okay" or, "super, I'm doing just fine". Thats because I dislike people who complain and complain and complain. I always try to be pretty chirpy around people because I figure people deserve to be nice to each other and I dont ever want to cause people any harm.
However, my "yeh, I'm doing okay's" have turned into responses of "you know what? I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm really under pressure right now. Things arent so great."
I'm getting sick of complaining, and I am trying to deal with the fact that everyone around me is also struggling. It is true that my co-workers are under just as much pressure. They are tired too. They are over it as much as I am. And when there is just as many over-worked, frustrated people around you, who is left to listen to you about how tough things are for you personally?
There is the added issue of what I do for a living - in law, your job is to take stressful situations away from people and to deal with them on their behalf. Your job is to resolve conflict. People expect lawyers to be able to deal with the garbage because its just what we "do". That is true to some extent, and while we can usually tough things out, there's a point where it gets us down. Right now, I'm fed up with just how nasty people can be, how people treat other people, the power struggles, the politics, the lies and all of the other habits that nasty people have.
I'm just sick. Sick and tired right now. But how is my sickness and tiredness any different to the next over-worked person and the next?
posted by KateOnTheGo at
9:52 PM
4 Comments:
oh kate... i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. i do hope things improve for you real soon babe!
and even though negativity isn't like you- if you can't vent and "think out loud" on your own blog- then where else can you do it!
i just love your photos of the german town and old australia!
Chin up Kate. Hope you feel better soon.
What you need, girl, is a root!
Ahhh ... I hear you Kate! First, I agree with Angel - if you can't vent here, then what's the point of having a blog, right?
Second, I know you don't want anyone to "fix" this for you - you just wanted to vent. So in that spirit know that I'm not trying to "fix" - but am just offering a tried and true adage as a reminder: You can't ever change anyone (or anything), ever. You can only change your reactions to them. What they never tell you, though, the rest of the adage that has never been uttered? It's this: the adage only works if you can manage a permanent change in your reactions. Now there's the challenge, eh? After all, just how easy is it for any of us to manage a permanent change - ever?
Hopefully the skies have brightened a bit for you by the time you've read this silly little comment o' mine.
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