Wanted: Therapy
So I am writing this while I should be working. I admit. I'm being naughty. But I have to get this off my chest. Yes, I am in panic mode. You see, I've gone and gotten all excited about Canada and completely overlooked the most important requirement of all - a work visa. No, no I didnt just "forget about it", but I did seem to convince myself that all would be okay in that department.
When I got the job in July, I turned it down. It took me two months to decide that I Really Really wanted to go. So, having confirmed with the employer that my job was still available, I've become overwhelmed with happiness. However, this morning it dawned on me - would it be too late to get a visa?
I'm not talking "too late" as in, I wont get one in time. I start in December, so of course there will be time. The problem lies in whether there will be any left. For 2006, they issue 7500 visas. Currently, there are only 882 left, as of today. The job fair at Whistler is in late October, for all of those people who have not already gotten job offers. So everyone will have already put in there applications. Applications are processed in order of date of arrival to the Consulate. What happens if there are 1000 applications sitting in the Canadian Consulate waiting to be processed, and mine gets in there (hopefully tomorrow) and it sits there, for weeks on end, waiting to be processed, only to find that there'll be none left by the time it gets to be processed?
I've stewed and stewed over this for the entire day at work. I've been paralysed by anxiety about it. I've calculated all kinds of figures about it - say, if they have a 4-6 week expected processing time, and processing 25 applications per day, then there's a good chance I'm still in. However, that's not taking into account the applications which are waiting....etc....etc...
I couldnt put the application in any earlier because I didnt know if I definately had the job or not. I didnt want to spend $150 to get the visa in case I wasnt going to need it. All of this because i didnt want to spend the cash! I am so stupid!
*gasp*
So basically, I am not going to know if I am definately going to Canada for another 4-6 weeks, or until the website of WHP Canada shows that all of the visas are gone.
How am I going to get through these next 4 -6 weeks without going insane?
I need therapy.
*sigh*
I need to put everything into perspective and just calm the hell down. If I dont get a visa, sure, I will have to once again inform WB that I cannot come over, and sure, they will be annoyed at me, and I will be disappointed because now I really really really want to go. But in the grand scheme of things, this isnt the end of the world. I will survive this. I wasnt planning on going to WB three to four weeks ago, so its not the end of the world if I dont go now. Sure, it will be sad, and unfortunate but I have to understand that life goes on. There will be bigger things for me to accomplish, more exciting places to go. Everything will be alright.
This is the frustrating down side to my personality. I muddle over things, get over-anxious about things I cannot change, and it eats away at me until I can sort it out. I demand far too much from other people in order to take away my anxiety and fears, and I end up bitterly disappointed when they cant help - for example, I've demanded that my family get the visa application in to the Consulate first thing tomorrow - which would require them to travel an hour to get to the office. In my mind, I cant think of any other way I can put my mind at ease. I feel like I wont be able to calm down without knowing my application is atleast IN the queue to begin with - but who am I to expect my family to drop everything in order to go and change their plans and go out of their way to do this for me?
I get tunnel vision and I cant think of anything else until the problem is out of the way.
Right.
I need to re-group and just caaaaaaaaaalm down.
Everything will be okay.
Its not the end of the world.
Life goes on.
Right?
When I got the job in July, I turned it down. It took me two months to decide that I Really Really wanted to go. So, having confirmed with the employer that my job was still available, I've become overwhelmed with happiness. However, this morning it dawned on me - would it be too late to get a visa?
I'm not talking "too late" as in, I wont get one in time. I start in December, so of course there will be time. The problem lies in whether there will be any left. For 2006, they issue 7500 visas. Currently, there are only 882 left, as of today. The job fair at Whistler is in late October, for all of those people who have not already gotten job offers. So everyone will have already put in there applications. Applications are processed in order of date of arrival to the Consulate. What happens if there are 1000 applications sitting in the Canadian Consulate waiting to be processed, and mine gets in there (hopefully tomorrow) and it sits there, for weeks on end, waiting to be processed, only to find that there'll be none left by the time it gets to be processed?
I've stewed and stewed over this for the entire day at work. I've been paralysed by anxiety about it. I've calculated all kinds of figures about it - say, if they have a 4-6 week expected processing time, and processing 25 applications per day, then there's a good chance I'm still in. However, that's not taking into account the applications which are waiting....etc....etc...
I couldnt put the application in any earlier because I didnt know if I definately had the job or not. I didnt want to spend $150 to get the visa in case I wasnt going to need it. All of this because i didnt want to spend the cash! I am so stupid!
*gasp*
So basically, I am not going to know if I am definately going to Canada for another 4-6 weeks, or until the website of WHP Canada shows that all of the visas are gone.
How am I going to get through these next 4 -6 weeks without going insane?
I need therapy.
*sigh*
I need to put everything into perspective and just calm the hell down. If I dont get a visa, sure, I will have to once again inform WB that I cannot come over, and sure, they will be annoyed at me, and I will be disappointed because now I really really really want to go. But in the grand scheme of things, this isnt the end of the world. I will survive this. I wasnt planning on going to WB three to four weeks ago, so its not the end of the world if I dont go now. Sure, it will be sad, and unfortunate but I have to understand that life goes on. There will be bigger things for me to accomplish, more exciting places to go. Everything will be alright.
This is the frustrating down side to my personality. I muddle over things, get over-anxious about things I cannot change, and it eats away at me until I can sort it out. I demand far too much from other people in order to take away my anxiety and fears, and I end up bitterly disappointed when they cant help - for example, I've demanded that my family get the visa application in to the Consulate first thing tomorrow - which would require them to travel an hour to get to the office. In my mind, I cant think of any other way I can put my mind at ease. I feel like I wont be able to calm down without knowing my application is atleast IN the queue to begin with - but who am I to expect my family to drop everything in order to go and change their plans and go out of their way to do this for me?
I get tunnel vision and I cant think of anything else until the problem is out of the way.
Right.
I need to re-group and just caaaaaaaaaalm down.
Everything will be okay.
Its not the end of the world.
Life goes on.
Right?
posted by KateOnTheGo at
10:45 PM
6 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kate, you're doing my head in. Yeesh! A couple questions though, I think I've gotten things arse-about again: Why would WB offer more jobs to foreigners than there are visas available? Did that make sense? You know what I mean... And why would they have a job fair if there's no more visas left for the people that missed out first time round?
In any case, try and think a wee bit more positively about it instead of panicking about it! If it's meant to happen then it'll happen. Now go snuggle with Boy and think happy thoughts.
If worse comes to worse, there's always the rest of the world haha.
Hmmmmm. Demanding too much of others? Seems to me (just thinking out loud here) those "others" are grown adults fully capable of saying "no" to anything they aren't comfortable with, right? Ease up on yourself, me girl! We all expect a lot from each other at times. It's human nature. And when we agree to the high demands of others, we do so because we care, certainly - but more importantly because, ultimately because we want to. 'Sides. If I know you half as well as I think I do, you'll likely find a way to go out of your way for them - and probably as quickly as possible, too! After all - isn't that what it's all about when all's said and done? About caring and helping each other? Not, I don't think, about who owes what to who when.
Oooops ... sincere apologies ... didn't mean to preach!! I gotta stop doing dat!! Am off soap box now...it's safe to come back in now!!
After all this travelling haven't you realized that things happen for a reason! If you dont get the visa then you'll go somewhere else, do something else...you will always be exactly where you are supposed to be! So don't panic. A wise ol' person once told me to remember that you'll always land on your own two feet...don't worry about things that are out of your control :)
(Yes yes, I know what you are thinking, I am wise beyond my years!)
katie... there are enough snowballs in canada (if you remember the analogy)... no need for this issue to grow a life of its own. What will be will be... simple. Just let it be, enjoys your last few weeks in your beautiful little haven and just be happy and know you deserve to be happy. You do not need to jepordise your emotional wellbeing by freting about seemingly remote and unlikely events. Think positive and rest assured in the fact that we don't always have control and thats the beauty of life.. that way you find yourself in places and with people you never planned to meet. If canada is for you at this time, you will be there in December. xx
ps. By the way... can't wait to see you in November and Im just about to head to a BBQ at janines, ill send your love .
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