KateOnTheGo: January 2006

Dear Mr. Bush, President of the United States of America

31 January 2006

BY FACSIMILE AND POST
Mr. George W. Bush
Oval Office
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. Bush,

I am writing this letter to you to thank you very much for your hard work over the last couple of years.

I take this opportunity to thank you for being a good friend to our Prime Minister, Mr. John Howard, who at times doesnt seem to have many friends here in Australia. He is much happier now that he has someone to help him with the struggles that come with being the boss of a country. Who better than to start hanging out with someone as nice as you?

I am also glad that our John has been accepted into your little group called the "Coalition of the Willing." For a little while, our country has struggled to find its own identity but I guess that comes with being a nation which was originally made up of criminals sent from Britain. We tried to accept the identity of the wild people who were on the land before the crooks came but now that would have meant that John Howard had to say "sorry" to them. He has a similar attitude to you. Like on 8 November 2001, when you turned to the Brazillian President who was visiting Washington DC and said "Do you have blacks too?"

I think its nice that you stick up for your mates. I like how you swap information and stuff. Like on 28 November 2003, in your State of the Union address, you told the world that your other friend Tony and his British Government had learnt that Saddam Hussein had recently sought significant quantities of uranium. I heard that before you gave that speech, the CIA had told you that the information was untrue but its alright. I was once told that you should never let facts get in the way of a good story, especially about Yellow Cake.

I hope John Howard continues to do the same good job that you are doing for your own country. I hope John Howard passes continuous tax cuts. You did. I know that when you did, you changed a surplus of $5 trillion into a projected deficit of $4.3 trillion but its okay because my mum and dad are rich and I will be too when I grow up, so I dont mind there being tax cuts. John is trying his best to run a strict economic policy, just like you. John bought in some really tough industrial relations laws the other week which strips away a couple of rights from employs, but he says that it needs to happen so we can compete with Asia.

Oh, and speaking of Asia, John wont ratify the Kyoto Treaty in a bid to reduce greenhouse omissions. Like you, John thinks that if we sign it, its going to cost Australians their jobs.

Lastly, I just want to say that I think you are a big inspiration to kids like me. My favourite quote of yours was the one you said in Washington DC on 5 August 2004, where you said:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

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Yours Truly,

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Kate from Australia.

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P.S Would it be too much to ask that I get a signed photo of you with your lovely wife? Thanks.

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(information gained from the following websites:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushdumbquotes2.htm

http://www.americanprogress.org/site/pp.asp?c=biJRJ8OVF&b=64326)

Bugger.

Beautiful Switzerland

One of the photos I took while in Interlaken, Switzerland. I hope to go back to ski there soon.

Cats Do The Darndest Things!

My cat, Tigger, has begun sitting with his paws crossed lately (??!)

http://www.exeterpsc.org.uk/map.jpg

Have you ever taken a step forward only to find that you have to take two steps back?
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Well this is how I feel today as I peruse the world news and find that my eyes rest on details emerging of the Palestinian Elections. A win to Hamas. A loss to Fatah. A loss to any chance of reconciling the problems deeply seeded in the Middle East.

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The Israel/Palestine conflict has been a topic I have closely watched over the years, after randomly coming across a documentary on television once. Ever since then, I've actively researched and read about the many issues which have led to the problems that exist today in the area. Unfortunately, the problems that were there centuries ago exist now. Its not just about land. Its about history. Its about religion.

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The situation cannot be summed up in a blog entry. Lord knows, I would not even try. For many years I have tried to understand what it is that has gone wrong there and for many years I have struggled to find information which is written from a completely unbiased perspective. After all, the root of the troubles involves each side's denial of the other's existence.

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It isnt just any war. It isnt one man's vision of power and control over people.

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It is hatred like no other. Its in each side's blood and its uncompromising.

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For some, the "Road Map" was to be the slow but positive "compromise" that Ariel Sharon was going to make on behalf of Israel, to Arafat, the leader of the Fatah regime (the leading political party of Palestine, and "breakaway" group that moved away from the more right wing and radical Hamas).

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Sharon allegedly "compromised", a move that the previous Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, would never have done.

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Sharon risked political rising against him by making this decision for the benefit of world peace.

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Sharon has since become very ill and unlikely to recover.

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Benjamin Netanyahu is urging the Israeli's to re-elect him into power. This is looking likely.

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Arafat of Palestine has passed.

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The radical political party that is Hamas has now won the election.

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Violence is once again throughout the troubled areas.

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I feel like the world has taken one step forward and two steps back. Yet I can't even put my hand up and say that I have a reasonable solution to give.

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Like I said in one of my recent blogs - Why bother trying to hope for a more tolerant society when you have people trying to teach our generation how to be intolerant?

Should A Professional Athlete Ever Quit?

"At what point in a Grand Slam final does a player decide to tough it out though illness or injury, allowing an opponent to win the traditional way — closing out the contest on match point?
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Or when does that ailing player decide that a loss seems likely, the pain is unbearable and continuing is simply not worthwhile?
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The Australian Open women’s final, won by Amelie Mauresmo on Saturday when Justine Henin-Hardenne retired with stomach problems trailing 6-1, 2-0, highlighted such questions." http://msnbc.msn.com/id/11073716/
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I'm of two minds about this one. While I cant exactly comment on whether Henin-Hardenne was feeling "sick enough" or not, I gain a little bit insight when i think about the way that I feel when I am under the weather and exercising. I give up. I cant do it anymore and I stop and go home.
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But, the different is that I only have a duty to myself as to whether or not I perform.
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But how does this differ when you are a professional player? For professional sportsmen and sportswomen, training to be mentally fit is half the workload. And people pay money to see you give 100%. You are a form of entertainment and professional athletes receive a bucket load of money because of this - people are willing to pay huge money to come and see you give everything you have got - blood, sweat, tears. They train hours on end to ensure that they are physically AS WELL AS mentally fit to give everything they have got.
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Is it okay then to quit?
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Or do I have no idea what it feels like to have unbearable pain?
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In the 2004 Athens Olympics, Sally Robbins was a team member of the Australian Eight rowing team. Robbins ignited a nationwide debate and the fury of her Australia women's coxed eight crewmates when she stopped rowing late in the Athens eights final, costing the crew its medal dream. It was alleged that Robbins had a "mental blowout". However, this occured at the Olympics. The pinnacle of the team's career. Was it fair that she gave up, or was it something over which she had no control?
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Does the Henin-Hardenne situation differ from Sally Robbins?
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While not in a team situation, I think Henin-Hardenne let down Amelie Mauresmo by pulling out instead of toughing it out.
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I think Henin-Hardenne let down the people that keep her in a life she is accustomed to as a professional tennis player.
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As Amelie Mauresmo said in the press conference afterwards - "[She] was ready to die on that court today." Why wasnt Henin-Hardenne prepared to do so as well?
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Or perhaps we do expect far too much from sports stars.
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Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life

1. (soon to be) Backpacking Bum

2. Lawyer

3. Paralegal

4. Pharmacy Assistant

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over

1. Good Will Hunting

2. Finding Nemo

3. Top Gun

4. Centre Stage

Four Places You've Lived

1. Sydney Australia

2. Sydney Australia

3. Sydney Australia

4. Sydney Australia

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch

I dont watch that much TV anymore but....

1. Third Watch

2. Girlmore Girls

....?

Four Places You've Been On Vacation

1. New Zealand

2. United Kingdom

3. Italy

4. France

Four Blogs You Visit Daily:

1. www.hotmamadrama.blogpost.com

2. www.readywillingandable.blogspot.com

3. www.ihaveaboat.blogspot.com

4. my own blog - www.kateonthego.blogspot.com

Four Of Your Favourite Foods

1. Starburst jelly beans.

2. Fruit Bars

3. Mum's Roast

4. Pizza from Venice

Four Places You'd Rather Be

1. Venice, Italy

2. Krabi, Thailand

3. Edinburgh, Scotland

4. Skiing the French Alps

Four Albums You Can't Live Without.

1. Live at Knebworth, Robbie Williams

2. My ColdPlay albums

3. Alicia Keys - Songs in A Minor

4. Intensive Care, Robbie Williams

Four Vehicles You've Owned

1. Little red Proton Satria - ITS FOR SALE !!!!

2. Brown Ford Escot (owned by my sister though)

3. In my dreams, a BMW M3

4. A bicycle.

Tag! You're it:

Damn, I can't catch anyone!

What Is My Opinion Worth?

Tonight I stumbled across a random blog which took me by surprise. Once what I read sunk in, it angered me. I wont go into the details. But it really really really annoyed me. I drafted a blog entry and was ready to publish the post. Then I stopped. I was about to blog about a highly contraversial issue, one which I think a lot of you would have also reacted negatively towards.

Had I have blogged about it, what good would it have done? It was a blog entry by someone completely and utterly intolerant. What really annoyed me what that this blogger was drafted by a pastor of the church - someone who would be looked upon as a teacher, as a mentor, and a leader.

*sigh*

Why bother trying to hope for a more tolerant society when you have people like this person trying to teach our generation how to be intolerant?

Silly Pictures

Me in front of the Duomo in Florence.

I really didnt like Florence.

Which could explain why I had bad hair that day.

Its impossible to look normal at 10,000ft.

Yum. Cherry flavoured Gelato in Verona.

Still sitting on my hips as a reminder.

Wooohoo!

Our government wants to spy on us too!!! Now lets hope they disguise cameras as rocks, like the silly British government did.
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http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17941370-29280,00.html

What Women Want

One of my regular readers asked a question which I thought was pretty reasonable:

What I really wanted to discuss was modern woman's love of men with big muscles. Aside from the physical attraction, i think woman is attracted to a muscled stud for protection. While this might seem logical, further inspection shows it to be ridiculous. Statistically, any woman has a much higher chance of being attacked by her muscled man than by a stranger. Therefore a woman would be better off with a scrawny dude who will have a much harder time beating her up. Does this make sense?

http://louisrosenthal.blogspot.com/

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While I dont consider myself the resident "Carry Bradshaw" of us all, I can address this issue for Louis. Here is what I think:

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1. I dont think the issue rests with "what women want". I dont think it is the case that women love men with big muscles. I cant answer for everyone, though. But if I think about the issue generally, and I look back at the times my friends and I have been checking out a guy, its not like we sit there and say "wow... look at his muscles."

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2. I dont think it has anything to do with women needing protection (you guys already know I am Miss Independant-I-Can-Live-Without-A-Man - see some previous entries about my views on why women should not need men to complete them!). I dont need "protected" by a muscle man.

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3. I think that one of Louis' readers was right when she said "good health is something that is very important, instinctually - children from an unhealthy father wouldn't likely be very healthy themselves." This is correct to some degree. Particularly for me, because I love fitness, and I know the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. But remember, you can be healthy and not have big muscles. In fact, I question whether men with overly large muscles are really that healthy (ie. too much protein, too many steriods?).

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4. I think that its the men who put too much pressure on themselves to be muscular. As we have discussed before, the "Alpha Male" is distinguished by strength through competition. Men are continually trying to place themselves higher in the pecking order because they believe it will affect their ability to find a female partner. Men think women like muscles. Men like to think women like muscles. Men like to think that women like them because of their muscles.

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Lastly, there was a good article about the "Female Criteria" on the following website. It says:

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"The human female, on the other hand, runs into a real problem: the human mind. Remember that females must apply more criteria to select a male than males apply to a female. It is not the nearest possibility, but the best possibility that she desir es. (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992) A woman's mind allows her, and indeed forces her to examine possible criteria to a much greater extent than any other animal. She can also project the consequences of choices into the future. What constitutes an alpha male, the best male with which to mate and produce the best possible offspring, depends on far more factors than any other animal on earth. The criteria for her to desire sexually a man can include strength or health or fighting ability, like the lion or the wolf. However, they can also include intelligence, money, power, prestige, position, status, attitudes, political or religious convictions, any number and combination of factors. It's whatever she believes a man should be that will result in 1) the best possible genes for her offspring, and 2) the offspring's best chance for survival and ability to pass on its genes. It is the human mind that allows her to consider the possibilities, the criteria, the future outcome of her actions. She does not go into heat and mate with the closest best bet. She makes plans, examines her choices, makes conscious decisions. Only the human female can make conscious, planned decisions about her sex life.

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Women's ability to think consciously about their sexual lives does not mean she doesn't have instinctive desires as strong as a man's. What it does mean is she will often subordinate that desire: she may desire a physically attractive man, but she will not actually have sex with him until he has satisfied more than physical criteria." http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~taflinge/socsex.html

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Thank should answer your question, Louis.

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Arrogance or Art Form?

Kanye West appears on this month's Rolling Stone as an African American Jesus Christ, which comes out on Friday.

Lets not make this a race issue. Lets make it about respect.

Regardless of whether he is black or white, or whatever, Kayne West has mimicked the crucifixtion of Jesus Christ, an action which I believe is deliberately sensational, and done in order to gain exposure as an artist.

The media reports at that West believes "being outspoken is a key to his success.". Kayne allegedly states "If I was more complacent and let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained." West allegedly told Rolling Stone that "he must suffer for his success…just as Christ did." (http://www.undercover.com.au/news/2006/jan06/20060125_kanyewesta.html)

Well, Kayne, there's something I need to tell you - I'm not entertained, I'm offended.

Oh, here's another thing - I'm not religious, but what you have done is infuriatingly arrogant.

Oh, and stop disguising yourself as a crusader of political persuasion. Because all you are doing is pursuading me further not to listen or purchase your music.

Rolling Stone - Shame on you for giving this twat a forum to post his nonsense.

"IF KANYE WEST HAD BALLS, he'd pose as Mohammed, instead of Jesus. But he doesn't. Efforts to be controversial have become so predictable. Yawn."
Gary Reynolds --> http://www.instapundit.com/

On Top of the World!

Me up on Schilthorn, Switzerland, one of the highest points a human can get to in Europe. Kinda symbolises the way I feel about life right now.

Poker Playing Alpha Men

Stu from Kingston Upon Thames in England writes on his blog:

To answer a question...

on the wave of people playing poker. And it is not just men, it's women too. In fact, The Times newspaper in the UK printed an article recently that suggested that women are playing the game just as well as (sometimes better than) men. See here.I could only answer why men play - because I am of the XY (male) persuasion.

Although, it would not be out of character as a male for me to assume a reason or two as to why females play too. However, I am not here to tell you (if you are female) why you play if you do, or should if you don't. However, I know that Z resents the game of poker and my computer because I spend time on these pursuits and not on her.I play because of the fact that there is no sacrifice in lifestyle or social standing on my part if I lose, but the bravado of saying that I won 100,000 chips if I win. It's a win-no lose situation. The alpha-male argument has been thrown around as well - a point with which I wholeheartedly agree.

I guess I play because I feel that I am getting better (my chips stack is growing) although my measure is purely imaginary. But I know that I am nowhere as good as some others. Which means that there is the chance to improve even more... in endless pursuit of perfection and a Royal Flush - only odds of about 650,000 to 1.The game of poker, in particular Texas Hold'em has come out of the musty card-pits and on to the High street - perpetuated primarily through the success it has achieved online.

It is a simple game compared to other poker variations, however it is easy to become good; tough to become a seasoned player; and downright impossible to become a great.The Internet is rapidly changing the way people accept and view things - blogs for instance are a social revolution of the peoples minds, bodies and souls. Some of us put everything on here. Others put recipes, some people put adverts.

Poker has changed because of the Internet.People are no longer ashamed of the game and the fact that they can play; and want to.

http://stugom.blogspot.com/

How true is that last statement?!? Men (and women) now no longer need to hide their fascination with the game, and now its become very "cool" to be a "poker shark".

Maybe it is this that I havent realised - that poker is now becoming a recognised sport, not some activity simply played by men in a smoky basement chewing on cigars.

Competition is one way that the Alpha Male keeps his place in the hierachy. Now the Alpha Men have an excuse to do it openly.

Reality Check!

I sometimes spend my nights sitting here on the internet looking at what other people blog about. I love entering into other people's worlds, seeing things from different perspectives, and living vicariously through other people's experiences. I love searching random blogs, some very weird (ie. Kansas Knitting Klub), some really annoying (ie. endless runs of dodgy sites selling dodgy products and gambling tips), and some just very very boring. But then every now and then I stumble across a blog site which really really affects me.

Tonight I found one that gave me a reality check - that feeling I would expect to receive if I had a baseball bat to my skull. I come across endless blog after blog, where people complain about their lot, wishing that things were different, and drowning in their own misery... I sympathise with them, I do. I am one of the most sympathetic people to mental illnesses and that is no secret. But everyone should at least take a few moments to read the following entry I found on a blog tonight and then say to yourself "Is life really that bad?"

"June 15th started out like any other day. I did the same things I always do, that many other people do. Alarm clock, shower, brush teeth – all those things associated with getting the day started. On the outside, it could have been any ordinary day. However, it wasn’t like any day before it.A week prior, I was lying in bed, unable to sleep because I was really cold, which in June is a little bizarre. After putting four blankets on top of me, I was still pretty cold. The next morning, I took a shower. Afterwards, I began to sweat profusely. I put on one shirt and sweat right through it. I tried another shirt, with the same result. I thought at the time, the guy who does my laundry isn’t going to be happy about this. Needless to say, I thought it best to see the doctor. After explaining my symptoms, he started asking me all sorts of questions. We were both a little uncertain, so we took a throat culture and some blood samples. Better safe that sorry. In a week, maybe I’d figure out what the heck was up. Maybe I’d find out that I really WAS an ice queen.A week later – June 15th – I found myself back at the doctor’s office to receive the news. I thought it funny that I was getting the results back after all my symptoms had come and gone. No more chills. No more sweats. Sure, my stomach was back and forth, but I was pretty nervous about what was wrong, so maybe that could explain it.In the moments that shape us from one form to the next, we’re seldom ready. We as humans have the unique gift of trying to make sense of how we’d deal with various situations as if that will really make much of a difference. No amount of preparation can change the outcome; I can assure you of that.

“The tests confirm that you’re HIV positive.”

The doctor continued to speak, but all that I could hear was the indecipherable wah-wah-wah of the adults from the Charlie Brown cartoons. There were instantly a million thoughts in my head – where would it anchor first? So many things touched upon in a fast glimpse, like the rest of my life flashing before my eyes. Breaking the news to my mom. Confronting the person who gave this to me. How this would affect my friendships. Pending whispers behind my back in the near distance. What it would do to any potential romance from here on out. How long it would take before I get sick. Lying in a hospital bed, the remainder of my friends surrounding me, trying to be strong and falling apart on the inside. Equal parts rational and irrational, knowing which ones are which, but unable to process it effectively."

http://mentalhopskotch.blogspot.com/

Now, is that not enough of a Reality Check for you?

Some Of My Favourite Paris Photos

Mary Poppins?

So i was once a girl that never really liked children. Suddenly, everyone around me started having babies. Here I am with little Bethanie, my friends two months old baby.

The Thames Whale

Sometimes nature can bring such amazement, and then in the same breath, such sadness and pain.

:(

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2006/WORLD/europe/01/20/
britain.whale/long.whale.ap.jpg

My Daddy Was Once A Rally Car Driver

Dad was once a rally car driver. Check those side burns out!

So why are the women doing all the work on my dad's car?

Should it Stay Or Should It Go?

I need my readership's opinions - should I go back to the black background or do we all like this new format?

Perhaps maybe this format but a different colour?

Help!

Romance

I'm singlehandedly destroying my fairytale, right here on this blog.

Why is it that it hurts so much when someone is adulterous, when it really is simply human behaviour?

Monogamy - Is It Necessary?

In his comment to my previous post, Rob wrote from Version 1.1 November 2002. I have extracted some parts below:

The tendency is for a male to use a female a number of times, and then to discard her. Therefore, in order to assess the degree of polygamous behavior of a certain man, we ought not to look at by how many females he is or has been bound into a permanent relationship at any given time, but solely at the number of different sexual partners he has ever had without getting married to..........

.............A man who concedes to the conditions brought about by a marriage typically signs over to his wife much of his wealth and financial independence. Because this kind of behavior does require irrationality, there is, under ordinary circumstances, a high degree of reluctance on the part of men to be available for marriage. A marriage is a victory for the female partner, rather than a male conquest. "

Rob's post takes a couple of reads in order to fully understand exactly what the post really means, but it raises even more questions, beyond what I initially posted about (ie. this phenomenon of the alpha male).

Does this view of male animal/human behaviour ignore the fact that humans have an emotional capacity, as well as a psychophysiological tendancy to find as many sexual partners in their life time? Are we discarding the fact that an Alpha Male too like the thought of ownership, of life time companionship or am I still lost in the idea of a fairytale?

Or is monogamy a cultural phenomenon that females have invented?

Deflating the Myth of Monogamy

"There is no question about monogamy's being natural. It isn't. But at the same time, there is no reason to conclude that adultery is unavoidable, or that it is good. "Smallpox is natural," wrote Ogden Nash. "Vaccine ain't." Animals, most likely, can't help "doing what comes naturally." But humans can. A strong case can even be made that we are never so human as when we behave contrary to our natural inclinations, those most in tune with our biological impulses. "

DEFLATING THE MYTH OF MONOGAMY
David P. Barash http://www.trinity.edu/rnadeau/FYS/Barash%20on%20monogamy.htm

The Alpha Male - Fact or Fiction?

After posing the question to my fellow readers, "What is It With Guys And Poker", I was informed that it had something to do with the quest for men to be the "Alpha Male". After nodding and agreeing, I spent a little more time thinking about it.

Wikipedia defines the "Alpha Male" as "an individual in the community whom the others follow and defer to." The term "Alpha Male" emerged in the 1930's when researching animal behaviour. When observing a pack of wolves, they identified "the Alpha Male" because he was the one that was allowed to eat first, and the only wolf allowed to mate. When observing a group of Chimpanzees, it was found that the "Alpha Male" would usually be identified as the Chimp who was allowed to walk first in procession.

So why has this term "Alpha Male" re-emerged as a term used to describe a human? What does it mean to be "An Alpha Male" and does it really have an effect on the human "pecking order"? Importantly:

"Can a male consciously strive to become an Alpha Male or is it a role which society subconsciously gives to someone with certainly qualities and characteristics? What does it really take to be an Alpha Male?"

As a female, I want to know what this term really means. If "the Alpha Male" really exists out there, how do I find him and what benefits can be derived from being in the company of an "Alpha Male"?

So many questions.

I did an all-important survey of the guys at work (thanks Dave and Jason) and asked them some questions - What is an Alpha Male? Do you know who your Alpha Male is in your group? What makes him the Alpha Male? What does he have that you dont have? Do you aim to become the Alpha Male in your group? In reviewing their answers to the above questions, I realised that the desire to be the Alpha Male is the desire to be liked by everyone. Its about popularity. Its about being the leader, not the follower. Its the loudest guy. Its the one that is always surrounded by many people. He is the one that dates the good looking women. He is the one that has the good looking female friends. He is the one that comes up with the great ideas for the poker night, or the boys night away.

He is "The Man".

So can a guy decide that he is the Alpha Male or does the group decide he is a Alpha Male? Is dominance simply a matter of "putting on the right face?" Apparently Al Gore was once advised by his Political Advors to run an "Alpha Male" campaign. Is this as silly as it sounds?

I took this picture when I was in St. Marks Square, Venice.

Dont you wish that you could go back to being a child, and find the joy in the simple things like chasing birds?

Oh dear.

I leave Australia in exactly two months.

Please Enlighten Me?

Okay. There are lots and lots of things in life that confuse me, including:

1. Why Paris Hilton hasnt yet worked out that everyone thinks she is mutton dressed as lamb.
2. Why America voted in George W. Bush again.
3. Why it only ever rains when I have an outdoor activity planned..

But if someone could pleeeease explain to me one thing?

What is it with guys and poker at the moment?!?!!?

Impossible

An Addidas T-Shirt spotted at the cricket the other week.

Is Something Heading South?

I usually use my own material on my blog, but i just HAD to put this on "kateonthego". It has made my day. I grabbed the picture from my favourite gossip blog, http://hotmommadrama.blogspot.com/ (i am sure she wont mind me borrowing it).

Drew, honey, get a better bra, cause it wont be too long before they are down near your ankles.

A pair of Gucci shoes? $400. A ticket to the Golden Globes? $1500. Watching a celebrity attend the Golden Globes and make a horrible choice as to what she wears? Priceless.

An Old Picture

My sister and I graduated on the same day from university, in October 2003.

Wide Open Spaces

http://www.moskitodiving.com/images/backpacker.jpg

"Wide Open Spaces"

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about

Who's never left home, who's never struck out

To find a dream and a life of their own

A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow

A young girl's dream no longer hollow

It takes the shape of a place out west

But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed

[Chorus:] She needs wide open spaces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child

Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired

But now she won't be coming back with the rest I

f these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!"

Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl"

She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"

When she stood there and let her own folks know

OH, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!!

Kate Went Off To Bar School

Yesterday I went to bar school. After spending so many years in bars and around bars, I had never stepped behind a bar and served a beer. Now that i am heading over to the United Kingdom, the home of pubs, I figured I should learn how to pour a beer. I'd heard that there was a special art to pouring beer, so I thought I would brush up on my hospitality skills and learn this special art before I left.

So off I went back into the city on a Saturday to TCP Training, where I would be attending "Bar Skills 101". Sitting quietly in the foyer, I observed that a number of very tanned, good looking men were headed into some "Construction Green Card" class. I was just about ready to switch classes and learn about construction safety when the Bar Skills Trainer announced that it was time to leave for the pub.

We headed off to the Bristol Arms Hotel (ie. the Retro) which would be where we would learn the skills necessary to work in a pub. As I walked into the Retro, with its 80's music pumping from its sound system, and my feet soaking into its well-worn carpets, I felt at home. Oh, how I had previously spent many 'o nights at the Retro, dancing in a drunken, uncoordinated fashion to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

For the next seven hours, I was filled with loads of knowledge about all things alcohol. I learnt how to pour beers, make spirits, take orders ("Can I help you, Ma'am") and how to generally clean and operate the equipment in a bar. Most of it was common sense, and reminiscent of my days behind the counter at Pizza Hut, but it was a timely reminder of things which I had placed firmly in the back of my head since entering into the world of big time legal disputes.

Happiness = A Well Poured Beer.

The best thing about the Bar Skills course was that I had the chance to meet Sarah. I was just about to turn to her and introduce myself when she turned to me and did it first. The minute she did it, I realised that her and I were destined to be good mates. Sarah is leaving for the UK in a couple of weeks, and is doing exactly what I am doing - leaving a good job to find her destiny (?) in another country. We went out for a couple of beers after the course and exchanged contact details, promising each other that we would be in touch. It is yet another example of how travelling really unites people.

A good beer has a centimetre of "head", has "brillance", and tastes bloody good on a hot day!

"Here's yer bourbon and coke, your rum and coke, your tequilla and tonic and three beers. Now that's it for you, son. No more -- its the law."

So Why Is It That "Antipodeans" Travel?

As promised, tonight I wish to write an article on exactly why I believe Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans travel so much. For anyone that steps into a London hostel, there is a good chance that the person that you are sharing your bunk bed will usually be an Aussie, a Kiwi or a Yarpie. Should you choose to buy a drink at a downtown Earls Court pub, you will often be greeted by a distinct accent from the Southern Hemisphere. So I pose the question:

Why is it that Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans travel to the United Kingdom?

It appears that in order to settle down in your home country, you must first make a "pilgramage" to the mother land - the United Kingdom. It is an unspoken rule for many Antipodeans - you havent lived life until you have lived in the United Kingdom. You can't buy a house until you have travelled to Europe. You cant fully commit to your "dream job" until you've scrubbed tables in a dirty dark London pub, or served a pub meal in country England. It is a full gone conclusion that until you have made the journey, you havent lived.

While I am not exectly qualified to provide reasons why it is that New Zealanders and South Africans travel, I have attempted to guess why it is so for Australians.

A. We are a nation full of convicts who should still be in England.

My first guess it that it is because our ancestors were taken away from England and were sent to Australia for petty crimes such as stealing loaves of bread. Its as simple as that. It is a strand of our DNA which knows full well that we should not have been sent to the baron land of Australia, simply because the economy was struggling and our children needed to eat. So, as a result, the first chance we get, we move back to England to right the wrongs that were forced against our ancestors by the Evil English in 1788. We flock to England and take all of their good jobs because it is known amongst the english community that Australians are hard workers. After all, we were prisoners for many years. We had to work hard in order to survive. So, we work hard, drink their beer and earn loads of money which (when turned into australian dollars) makes us rich.

B. Like birds, we flock back up north once it becomes summer again.

No backpacking Australian heads off to England during November. Have you ever noticed that? I believe that it is because it is only natural that once it becomes winter, you head south. When it is summer, we head north. Australia winters are still reasonably cold so its a perfect opportunity to keep searching for the "Endless Summer".

C. The Men Are Better Looking

Sorry Australian men, but I have always thought British men are hotter. Hello? Does Hugh Grant ring a bell? Johnny Wilkinson? David Beckham?

D. Australia Lacks History

Okay, this is a serious point. I do believe that the reason why many people travel from Australia to Europe is that Australia lacks history. As a relatively new country, we have no concept of ancient ruins, exotic temples and buildings demolished by centuries of wars. I think one of the oldest buildings in Sydney houses a McDonalds restaurant. Its the truth. Australia was "founded" in 1788 and it was then that buildings were built and cities became what they are today. Australia was developed by reason of necessity rather than as a result of generations of Kings and Queens. We go in search of history in order to understand the meaning of time. And maybe some of us Australians believe in fairytales in big castles, rather than frolicking on the aussie beach (figuratively speaking).

So there are atleast four reasons why I think Australians travel. I welcome any one elses suggestions, of course.

K